Updated: Feb 21, 2020
As I am traveling this journey of stepping into my own worth and owning my own power there is one word that keeps coming to me over and over again; Unapologetic.
For too many years I have uttered the word, “sorry” just as much as I said “thank you” or “hello.” Being a curvy, funny, psychic-empath I was always waaaay outside of the box.
Although I couldn’t change that aspect of myself to ‘fit in’ I realized that one way to try and balance it was to constantly apologize for taking up space. This was reiterated through the media, as the only kind of women that deserved to be seen for their power within a patriarchy are women who fit within a very narrow spectrum of what is seen as ‘desirable’.
What I never was able to fully comprehend was that this meant that I was subconsciously shaping myself to be acceptable through the eyes of men, never able to quite fit the mark. This resulted in years upon years of deeply internalized negative self- talk spiraling deeper and deeper into my consciousness (unchecked) until I felt utterly worthless.
This resulted behavior seems simple enough to understand given the nature of our society, but having this realization one day while looking at myself in the mirror, fussing over my hair and not feeling like enough; this became a revelation.
After years of working on myself (medicine ceremonies to get to the root of my core issues, working with various spiritual teachers, and hours upon hours of prayer) it was only In that moment that I was able to open myself up to the deeper feeling I was holding onto within me; fear.
Within this fear and the deep recesses of my cultural conditioning was the question I was forever asking myself, “Am I Enough?” Yet, even under that is the deeper question, “Who will ever love me?”
It was on this day that I realized that I had never actually looked at myself through my own eyes. I had been looking at myself for the past 34 years through the eyes of a white man, pulling out (through their eyes) every “flaw”, every “misgiving”, and every “imperfection.”
I had never actually looked at myself through my own eyes. It was on this day that I saw myself for who I really was, through my own eyes, for the first time in my life.
Now is the time we begin to see ourselves through our own eyes ladies.
What does it mean to look at yourself through your own eyes? It means looking at the impeccable beauty of your being and beginning to focus more on those aspects of yourself than on the seeming “imperfections.”
It is realizing that you are Spirit incarnate, and a living miracle. Women can no longer bare the weight of hating themselves amidst a ruling white patriarchal order any longer.
This order is crumbling and the energies of the country and planet are recalibrating. As we begin to reshape this world, we must first begin to reshape ourselves.
No change on this planet can emerge while upholding the internalized patriarchal conditioning we have undergone, the time has come that we wake up from this spell and open to the truth; we are the divine feminine incarnate. If we wish to enhance this energy on the planet, we must enhance this energy within ourselves.
There is physics to back up the fact that whatever you put your focus and consciousness into becomes larger and “more of.” This is how through our consciousness we begin to ‘shape’ our reality.
This reality been dictated by greed, hierarchy, domination, and scarcity for too long. This has applied to women’s beauty as well. For too many years have we been seen as objects for men’s pleasure and power, every part of us critiqued, dissected, and reviewed in order to be deemed attractive and desirable. This resulted in us shaping ourselves in order to be accepted and worthy through a dominant ruling order.
We are living in a new time, a time where the light of consciousness has cast upon the shadow of feminine power and the feminine paradigm is beginning to emerge into the light of day.
The time is emerging where we are beginning to see and shape is one of beauty, collaboration, love, and abundance.
This starts with how we begin to shape ourselves through our own eyes. This means that when we look in the mirror we begin to focus on the parts of ourselves that are actually beautiful.
Focus and attention create energy, and it is my wholehearted belief that this is the deepest and most powerful work that will actually shift the energies of this planet. It begins with us women beginning to love ourselves, as we are, in all our perfect imperfection.
Being highly empathic and psychic has also created a kind of apologetic nature as when you can feel others energy, you also can feel (if any) harm you may be causing them.
It’s easier to just apologize rather than face yourself, and take up a kind of space that may injure others. And this is exactly the point, as we Witches come into our own power, we are inevitably going to be injuring someone, whether it be their ego, their sensibility, or whatever else may come up against their world view. There has never been any room for a powerful ass Witch to emerge within our current paradigm...until now.
For too many years have women been consciously or unconsciously apologetic for their existence.
The more we ‘fit in’ meaning the skinnier we are and the more gentile our voices become, the ‘easier’ our lives will be as we won’t have to deal with the judgment that comes along with being so different.
But what we forsake in order to do that is our truth, our integrity, and our authenticity.
This is why it has been such a difficult task as women to fully come into our own and begin to see ourselves through our own eyes.
So many of us have been conditioned from birth to fit into this paradigm, we may not have any idea who we are beneath that. All we may feel is exhausted, depleted, anxious, angry, depressed and not understand fully why. Allowing ourselves to be authentic to our nature means being weird as fuck and not apologizing for it. It means repeating the word, over and over in our mind until it becomes the mantra of our lives, UNAPOLOGETIC.
The planet can only recalibrate its feminine energy if we witches begin to come out of the closet and own our power in a way we never have before.
This means being unapologetic for our seeming ‘flaws’ and for anything that may take our energy away from accepting and allowing ourselves to embrace our wildness for what it is, pure beauty.
TO Shape: to create. When we look at ourselves through our own eyes and with love, we are honoring our own divinity and truly beginning to embody the divine feminine.
I challenge you the next time you are in the bathroom looking at yourself in the mirror, instead of looking at yourself and all of your seeming ‘flaws’ which has been one of the quickest and fastest ways to rob us of our power and strength as powerful ass Witches.
Instead, look at yourself as though you are a true Queen. Notice the parts of yourself that are incredible, beautiful, and impeccable.